Lee Moody Wisdom

So, OK, who is Moody? John Lee Moody was shot down at least once &
otherwise cracked up a few more helicopters in Viet Nam & some might feel
his brain is a little cracked too. However, I'm glad to see he's still
entertaining.

I am a American.

I like big cars, big houses and naturally big breasts.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some midlevel
governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to
crack addicts squirting out babies.

I don't care about appearing compassionate.

I think playing with toy guns doesn't make you a killer.

I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason.

I think I'm better than the homeless.

I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.

I don't care if you call me a racist, a homophobe or a misogynist.

I have the right to not be tolerant of others because they are different,
weird or piss me off.

I don't celebrate Kwanzaa.

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you do it in English.

I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for unpopular
opinions or actions.

I want to know why there is MTV.

I know what the definition of lying is.

I think Oprah's eyes are way too far apart.

I didn't take the initiative in inventing the Internet.

I thought the Taco Bell dog was funny.

I want them to bring back fireworks.

I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice-T or
Marilyn Manson sang, but that doesn't mean I have to listen to that crap
from someone else's car when I'm stopped at a red light.

I think that being a student or an actor doesn't give you any more
enlightenment than working at Blockbuster or Jack In The Box.

I don't want to eat or drink anything with the words light, lite or fat-free
on the package.

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God or gods, and they
can do it in their schools.

My heroes are John Wayne, Ronald Reagan and whoever canceled Dr. Quinn,
Medicine Woman.

I don't hate the rich.

I don't pity the poor.

I know wrestling is fake.

I think global warming is typical liberal scare tactics and junk science.

I've never owned or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years in the desert
after getting chased out of Egypt, I haven't burned any witches or been
persecuted by the Turks and neither have you, so shut up already.

Rocky and Bullwinkle still makes me laugh.

I think you can respect and admire women while mentally undressing them.

I believe a self-righteous liberal with a cause is more dangerous than a
Hell's Angel with an attitude.

I want to know which church is it exactly where the Rev. Jessie Jackson
preaches.

I think explosions are cool.

I don't care where Ellen puts her tongue.

I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running
from them.

I thought Spinal Tap sucked, and Rob Reiner can still kiss my ass.

I hope that George W. DOES get elected in November so that Alec Baldwin,
Linda Bloodworth- Thomason, Ed Asner, Mike Farrel and the rest of the
liberal-assed Hollywood freaks WILL move out of OUR country.

I worry about dying before I get even.

I don't believe in hate crime legislation. Even suggesting it pisses me
off. You're telling me that someone who is a minority, gay, disabled,
another nationality, or otherwise different from the mainstream of this
country has more value as a human being that I do as a white male. Hell, if
someone kills anyone, I'd say that it's a hate crime.

I like the convenience of buying oranges while I'm waiting at a stoplight,
and I'm pretty sure the Latin midget selling them to me is glad she no
longer lives in a refrigerator box in East Dallas.

I think turkey bacon sucks.

I want somebody to explain to me exactly why it's wrong to point out that
when I watch a freeway chase, I know that the losers the police will
eventually pull out of the car are gonna be a bunch of gang-banging ethnics.

I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes a parent
with the balls to stand up to the kid and say "NO."

I think tattoos and piercings are fine if you want them, but please don't
pretend they are a political statement.

I believe you don't have to speak with a lisp to pick out a couch for your
living room.

I'll admit that some movies make.

I will not conform or compromise just to keep from hurting somebody's
feelings.

Sometimes I throw my soft drink can in the trash, even when the recycle bin
is just a few more steps and I crush my cigarettes out on the
curb. If recycling is so damned important to you, you are welcome to dig
through my trash at the landfill and take out the cans and plastics.

I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the
mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.

Yes, I'm guess I'm a bad American