| There is a U.S. state
capital that was named after a famous German. Bismarck, North Dakota,
was named after Otto von Bismarck
Japan consists of the four large islands of Hokkaido, Honshu, Shikoku, Kyushua and about three thousand smaller islands
CYBEX INTERNATIONAL RECALLS TREADMILLS |
Hells Angels associate
Sean Wolfe fired defence lawyer Randy Janus, his lawyer of record. Wolfe
is one of five Hells Angels scheduled for trial. The dismissal leaves
all five bikers without anyone to represent them. Lawyers appearing on
behalf of Wolfe's co-accused are still arguing for increased legal aid
funding before deciding whether to commit to what could be a two-year
trial.
After Janus withdrew, two of Wolfe's co-defendents complained about the process by which the province is attempting to find them lawyers who will take their case."No one has talked to us," said Dale Donovan. "We're still in the dark, and (the Crown) and legal aid are in the backroom having meetings that we're not a party to." Despite Leonoff's assurances that prosecutors have nothing to do with the process, Donovan also found fault with the province's choice for an independent third-party enlisted to canvass other lawyers who might be willing to take on the bikers' case. It's the bikers understanding that task has fallen to lawyer Bill Olson, who also does work for the province and the Winnipeg Police Service. "He doesn't have our best interests in mind," Donovan said. Leonoff agreed to provide the bikers with a list of five lawyers who have shown interest in the case. Queen's Bench Justice Holly Beard promised to keep the canvassing process separate from her continued deliberations over the funding dispute. the following is stolen from my good friend Jake 1) WE DO NOT HOLD! (purses,
beers, coats and other peoples shit, etc.) There
was an attorney who got home late one evening after a very taxing day
trying to get a stay of execution for a client, named Wilbur Wright, who
was due to be hanged for murder at midnight. His last minute plea
for clemency to the state governor had failed and he was feeling tired
and depressed. |
Hello, this is the Ultimate Computer
Store. Can I help you?
Hi. I'm setting up a home office in the den, and I'm thinking of buying a
computer.
Mac?
No, the name is Bud.
Your computer?
I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
Mac?
I told you, my name is Bud.
What about Windows?
Why? Does it get stuffy?
Do you want a computer with Windows?
I don't know. What do I see when I look out the windows?
Wallpaper.
Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
Software that runs on Windows?
No, on the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track
expenses. You know, run a business. What have you got?
Office.
Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
I just did.
You just did what?
Recommended something.
You recommended something?
Yes.
For my office?
Yes.
Okay, what did you recommend for my office?
Office.
Yes, for my office.
Office for Windows.
I already have an office and it already has windows! Let's say I'm sitting at my
computer, and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
Word
If I'm writing a proposal, I'm going to need lots of words. But what program do
I load?
Word.
What word?
The Word in Office.
The only word in office is office.
The Word in Office for Windows.
Which word in "office for windows?"
The Word you get when you click the blue W.
I'm going to click your big W if you don't give me a straight answer.
Let's forget about words for a minute. What do I need if I want to watch a movie
over the Internet?
RealOne.
Maybe a real movie, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. But
what do I need to watch it?
RealOne.
If it's a long movie I'll also want to watch reels two, three and four.
Can I watch reel four?
Of course.
Great! With what?
RealOne.
Okay, so I'm sitting at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
You click the blue 1.
I click the blue one what?
The blue 1.
Is that different from the blue W?
Of course it is. The blue 1 is RealOne. The blue W is Word.
What word?
The Word in Office for Windows.
But there's three words in "office for windows!"
No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
It is?
Yes, although to be fair there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much
wiped out all the other words.
And that word is the real one?
No.. RealOne has nothing to do with Word. RealOne isn't even part of Office.
Never mind, I don't want to get started with that again. But I also need
something for bank accounts, loans, and so on. What do you have to help me track
my money?
Money.
That's right. What do you have?
Money.
I need money to track my money?
No, not really. It comes bundled with your computer.
What comes bundled with my computer?
Money.
Money comes bundled with my computer?
Exactly. No extra charge.
I get a bundle of money with my computer at no extra charge? How much money do I
get?
Just one copy.
I get a copy of money. Isn't that illegal?
No. We have a license from Microsoft to make copies of Money.
Microsoft can license you to make money?
Why not? They own it.
Well, it's great that I'm going to get free money, but I'll still need to track
it. Do you have anything for managing your money?
Managing Your Money? That program disappeared years ago.
Well, what do you sell in its place?
Money.
You sell money?
Of course. But if you buy a computer from us, you get it for free.
That's all very wonderful, but I'll be running a business. Do you have any
software for, you know, accounting?
Simply Accounting.
Probably, but it might get a little complicated.
If you don't want Simply Accounting, you might try M.Y.O.B.
M.Y.O.B.? What does that stand for?
Mind Your Own Business.
I beg your pardon?
No, that would be I.B.Y.P. I said M.Y.O.B.
Look, I just need to do some accounting for my home business. You
know--accounting? You do it with money.
Of course you can do accounting with Money. But you may need more.
More money?
More than Money. Money can't do everything.
I don't need a sermon! Okay, let's forget about money for the moment.
I'm worried that my computer might...what's the word? Crash. And if my computer
crashes, what can I use to restore my data?
GoBack.
Okay. I'm worried about my computer smashing and I need something to restore my
data. What do you recommend?
GoBack.
How many times do I have to repeat myself?
I've never asked you to repeat yourself. All I said was GoBack.
How can I go back if I haven't even been anywhere? Okay, I'll go back.
What do I need to write a proposal?
Word.
But I'll need lots of words to write a proposal.
No, you only need one Word---the Word in Office for Windows.
But there's three words in...Oh, never mind. (click)
Hello? Hello? Customers! Why do they always hang up on me? Oh, well.
Hello, Ultimate Computer Store. Can I help you?
| Word of the Day |
|
diaphanous
\dye-AF-uh-nus\ adjective
The Greek root "phainein" shows through more clearly in some of our quiz words than others, but it underlies all of them except "triumphant" (which derives from the Latin "triumphus"). The groundwork for "diaphanous" was laid when "phainein" (meaning "to show") was combined with "dia-" (meaning "through"). From that pairing came the Greek "diaphanēs," parent of the Medieval Latin "diaphanus," which is the direct ancestor of our English word. http://www.merriam-webster.com/map_new.htm |