edition 11-14-03

Were theses 2 'buxom buddies' or 'Badger Backers'?
MADISON, Wis. - Two lawyers were caught naked while they were drying off in the laundry room of a downtown apartment building after the University of Wisconsin's football victory over Ohio State. David Burleson and Todd Buss, both 40, told police that their clothes were soaked due to rain at the game and a building resident told them they could dry off in the laundry room. The two were charged with disorderly conduct for being "extremely uncooperative" with police. According to officers, they were "extremely intoxicated" and singing loudly when the cops arrived. The pair attempted to cover themselves with a skull cap and a mesh laundry bag. Burleson and Buss pleaded no contest to disorderly conduct and were fined $200 and court costs.

My neighbor found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the
veterinarian. He found the problem was hair in it's ears and cleaned both
ears and the dog could hear fine. The vet told the lady if she wanted to keep this from reoccurring she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub in it's ears once a month. The lady goes to the drug store and gets some "Nair" hair remover. At the register the druggist tells her "If you're going to use this under your arms don't use deodorant for a few days." The lady says "I'm not using it under my arms." The druggist says "If you're using it on your legs don't shave for a couple of days." The lady says "I'm not using it on my legs either, and if you must know I'm using it on my schnauzer." The druggist says "Stay off your bicycle for a week

California - A suspended deputy police chief will not be charged with molesting two teens in the Explorer Scouts program decades ago because of a U.S. Supreme Court ruling that struck down California's law allowing such prosecutions, the district attorney's office said.

Prosecutors said in a memo that while they have sufficient evidence to charge David Kalish in the alleged incidents in the 1970s, the court ruling prevents them from doing so.

Kalish was placed on paid leave in March after allegations of sexual misconduct surfaced. He could not be reached for comment by the Los Angeles Times, and his lawyer did not return phone calls.

Police spokeswoman Mary Grady said the department continued to investigate Kalish and declined further comment.

The nation's highest court in July struck down the 1994 state law that erased the statute of limitations on sexual abuse cases before 1988. The court said it was fundamentally unfair for states to erase already expired legal deadlines. Hundreds of molestation cases and dozens of ongoing investigations were affected.

File this under 'keep it in your damn pants.'
PHILADELPHIA, Pennsylvania (Reuters) --A man described by authorities as a known sexual predator was chased through the streets of South Philadelphia by an angry crowd of Catholic high school girls, who kicked and punched him after he was tackled by neighbors, police said Friday.
Rudy Susanto, 25, who had exposed himself to teen-age girls on as many as seven occasions outside St. Maria Goretti School, struck again on Thursday just as students were being dismissed, police said.

But this time, a group of girls in school uniforms angrily confronted Susanto with help from some neighbors, police said.

When Susanto tried to run, more than 20 girls chased him down the block. Two men from the neighborhood caught him and the girls took their revenge.

"The girls came and started kicking him and punching him, so I wasn't going to stop them," neighbor Robert Lemons told The Philadelphia Inquirer.

Susanto was later treated for injuries at a local hospital. Police said he would be charged with 14 criminal counts including harassment, disorderly conduct, open lewdness and corrupting the morals of a minor

State police believe they have broken up a motorcycle chop shop.

Forty-five-year-old Michael Demone of 3816 Chili Avenue in Chili is under arrest. In a search of his home, police say they found thousands of motorcycle parts and several illegal guns.

Police were tipped off when a man from Williamson saw the seat from his stolen motorcyle for sale on E-Bay. "He had an E-Bay account. Our Computer Crime Unit did correspondence on E-Bay that led to a search warrant of the residence", said Capt. Michael Manning of the NYSP.

Demone is being charged with criminal possession of a weapon. Other possible charges relating to the alleged stolen property are also expected.

He is being held on $25,000 bail in the Monroe County Jail.

Subject: WORKING MAN'S ZEN

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either.
Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

6. No one is listening until you fart. In your cubicle.

7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

Word of the Day

accoutrement \uh-KOO-ter-munt\ noun

*1 : an accessory item of clothing or equipment — usually used in the plural
2 : an identifying characteristic
Example sentence:
Jonah was decked out in all the accoutrements of a tourist, including a camera around his neck and sunglasses atop his head.
Did you know?
"Accoutrement" and its relative "accoutre," a verb meaning "to provide with equipment or furnishings" or "to outfit," have been appearing in English texts since the 16th century. Today both words have variant spellings — "accouterment" and "accouter." Their French ancestor, "accoutrer," descends from an Old French word meaning "seam" and ultimately traces to the Latin word "consuere," meaning "to sew together." You probably won't be too surprised to learn that "consuere" is also an ancestor of "couture," meaning "the business of designing fashionable custom-made women's clothing."

http://www.merriam-webster.com/map_new.htm