A teacher asked her class, "What do you want out of life?"

A little girl in the back row raised her hand and said, "All I want out of life is four little animals".

The teacher asked, "Really and what four little animals would that be sugar?"

The little girl said, "A mink on my back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bed and a jackass to pay for all of it."

The teacher fainted.

Try scratching this DVD By Richard Shim 
 November 17, 2004, 10:00 AM PST Researchers at electronics giant TDK have developed a tough new coating that promises to make scratched DVDs a thing of the past and that will help usher in an emerging data storage format with 10 times the capacity of the current DVD standard. 
In a test conducted by CNET News.com, a DVD treated with TDK's coating survived a determined attack with a screwdriver and a Sharpie permanent marker with no effect on playability--a remarkable feat considering how easily standard DVDs can be damaged, for example, by children.

The average American will eat 35,000 cookies during their  life span.  FLFLHTC: Damn does that mean I should sopped years ago?

Remove tar from clothing. Scrape off as much tar as possible, place a lump of shortening over the spot,   wait three hours, then wash. 

California vintners in the Napa Valley area that primarily produces Pinot Blanc and Pinot Grigio have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic and will reduce the number of trips an older person has to make to the bathroom during the night. 

They will be marketing the new wine as Pinot More

A New Zealand woman started nursing her puppy after her infant rejected her breast because she didn't want to waste her milk, The Dominion Post reports. Kura Tumanako told the newspaper she decided to breastfeed her Staffordshire Bull Terrier puppy because the milk was being wasted and she hoped it would seal a bond with the pup and make it grow up to be more protective of her family. But animal experts Wednesday warned others against adopting Tumanako's unusual parenting, saying a dog should not be treated as "a mini-human" and pup will now be prone to behavioral problems. It may also look upon the baby as competition for the attention of the "mother," a potentially dangerous situation, they warned. 
FLFLHTC:Sorry but I have no comment on the mutt slut.

Easing sticky locks on doors or cupboards. Rub a soft pencil along the key and insert it into the lock, do this a few times and the lock should be easier to move and the key should slide in and out easier. 

From the 'Will this sob ever give up files'.
PIERRE, S.D. Lawyers for former South Dakota Congressman Bill Janklow will try to convince the state's supreme court to throw out his manslaughter conviction.

He was convicted earlier this year for an August 2003 accident that killed a Minnesota man. Prosecutors said he drove through a stop sign.

Janklow's attorney's will argue the prosecution shouldn't have been allowed to tell jurors that Janklow routinely ignored traffic laws.

Because the long-time politician appointed all five of the court's justices during some point in his career, the case is being heard by five lower court judges.

Employee accused of embezzling from Thiensville Harley dealership 
By DAN BENSON 
Nov. 15, 2004 Port Washington - A Greenfield man has been charged in Circuit Court with felony theft involving the embezzlement of money from a Thiensville Harley-Davidson motorcycle dealership where he worked.
According to Thiensville police, Jon S. Arfsten, 28, defrauded the dealer of about $15,500 by not ringing up cash sales, using credit cards for fraudulent purchases, and making up fraudulent returns using customers' names from a database.
At least 50 fraudulent transactions were made from Feb. 4 to Nov. 4, mostly at the parts counter where Arfsten was employed, according to a criminal complaint.
The complaint says the ruse was discovered Nov. 8, when a customer returned two light bulbs to the dealer. No record of the bulbs' sale was found, and a search through sales records discovered other discrepancies.
If convicted, Arfsten could be imprisoned for 10 years and fined $25,000.
Arfsten is free on a $2,500 signature bond. He is to appear before Ozaukee County Circuit Judge Tom R. Wolfgram today.
FLFLHTC: I like the Arab way of chopping off a thief"s right hand

NEW YORK, NY, Nov 15, 2004,—The Mega Martial Arts Weekend has just announced that Brooklyn’s own “Italian Bad Boy” Chuck Zito is set to attend the 2005 Mega Martial Arts Weekend in Atlantic City New Jersey this January. 
Chuck Zito has been dubbed one of the toughest men to sit on a Harley. He is a former 25 year member of the Hells Angels Motorcycle Club and a former Golden Gloves boxer. He used to be a bodyguard to the stars and was a mainstay on the hit HBO series “OZ” His martial arts and acting background has led him to a starring role of the USA Network’s upcoming series “Chuck Zito’s Street Justice” .

“I’m honored that Chuck Zito will be attending the 2005 Mega Martial Arts Weekend. Chuck has accomplished many things in his lifetime and I am sure that he will accomplish much more in the future.” Stated Alan Goldberg, Publisher of “Action Martial Arts Magazine”.

Other prestigious names that are slated to be in attendance are, Phil Morris, Stephen Hayes, Michael Depasquale, Cynthia Rothrock, Joe Lewis, Kathy Long and more. The Mega Martial Arts Weekend will take place at the world famous Tropicana hotel and Casino in Atlantic City New Jersey from January 14th to the 16th, 2005 

Gang associate guns for world title belt 
By CARY CASTAGNA, POLICE REPORTER Hells Angels associate Ralph (Junior) Moar is getting a second chance at boxing. And he says he's not going to squander it this time. "My boxing career is first and foremost for me right now. There's nothing else I want to do more than to be successful in the sport of boxing," the former Canadian amateur boxing champion told The Sun in an exclusive interview yesterday. 

'JAIL'S NO GOOD' The 25-year-old Winnipeg pugilist was released from Stony Mountain Institution on July 30 after serving two-thirds of a four-year prison sentence for discharging a firearm in a December 2000 shooting in the North End. 

"Jail's no good for anybody. I don't think it did anything for me but slow the process down. I should've had 20 pro fights by now," said Moar, who is a member of the Zig Zag Crew street gang -- a puppet club of the local Hells Angels chapter. 

However, Moar admits spending 20 months of his prison sentence in segregation -- locked up for 23 hours a day -- has made him tougher psychologically. 

The 5-foot-11, 187-pound Moar plans to make his comeback in three months as a super middleweight at 168 pounds. 

The unconfirmed date for his first boxing match in more than three years is Feb. 25. 

"I'm doing what I do best, and that's knock people out, and it's time I get paid for it -- and a lot," said Moar, who won the national amateur boxing title in 1997 as an 18-year-old. 

We are moving quickly into winter; a time of quiet and time of stillness.  For the buffalo bulls that have had the nerve to cross the arbitrary park boundary line, it is anything but.  Again this week,  four amazing animals were hazed off of Horse Butte, despite the pleas of the people who live there to let them stay.   Another bull had been grazing peacefully along the highway on the property of an area restaurant.  Department of Livestock agents requested permission to chase the bull back into the park, but it was denied - restaurant owners said he could stay.  The folks who live out here have an extremely important role in helping protect the Yellowstone buffalo.  BFC is continuously building relationships with the local people who want wild buffalo around, and in doing so, we build a stronger voice for the buffalo.

We are still in need of volunteers here at camp.  As more buffalo leave the park, it takes more people to cover patrols.  Everyone here right now has been working sunup to sundown.  Department of Livestock agents have been hazing several times per week.  Energetic volunteers with a strong desire to protect the last wild bison are needed now.