A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?" "Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."

A party at Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates' waterfront mansion recently became the focus of unusual police attention. 

The U.S. Department of Homeland Security announced a "temporary security zone" earlier this month around Gates' Lake Washington home, saying in a notice published in the Federal Register that the move was necessary to prevent "terrorism, sabotage or other subversive acts." 

Security zones prevent any person or watercraft from entering the area without explicit government permission. 
They're normally used to tighten security around military bases and naval facilities, and it's exceedingly rare for them to be erected around a private residence. 

The reason for the "Gates Residence Security Zone," which locked down all of Lake Washington south of the Highway 520 bridge and stayed in effect for two days, was a private party the Microsoft billionaire threw on July 18. 

Gates had invited over members of the National Governors Association, who were in Seattle for their annual conference. Microsoft also wrote a check for $150,000 to be an "emerald" sponsor of the NGA meeting, which about 30 governors attended. 

Among the NGA meeting attendees: Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge and Health and Human Services Secretary Tommy Thompson, both former governors, as well as former House Speaker Newt Gingrich and ex-White House Chief of Staff Leon Panetta. Gates' homestead is approximately 48,000 square feet with a garage that reportedly accommodates 30 cars. 

SARASOTA, Fla. - Six months after 11-year-old Carlie Brucia was kidnapped and killed, the state has removed her younger brother from the custody of their mother, Susan Schorpen.

Custody of the 7-year-old boy was given to Schorpen's mother, Eileen Schorpen, in Punta Gorda on Thursday, the Sarasota Herald-Tribune reported Friday.

Eileen Schorpen said her daughter failed a drug test administered after someone complained to child welfare officials about her fitness to be a parent. She said her daughter has chronic back problems and was given a pain pill by a friend.

"Everybody's crucifying her because she took a pill for back pain," Schorpen said. "She's had enough."

Reached at her Sarasota home Friday, Susan Schorpen declined to comment.

The DCF and Sarasota sheriff's officials declined to comment Friday, although a sheriff's spokesman said deputies were on hand when DCF officials visited Schorpen's home.

Schorpen's daughter, Carlie, was abducted Feb. 1 as she walked home from a friend's house in Sarasota. A surveillance camera behind a car wash captured the abduction on tape, and the images were shown on television news channels around the world. Her body was discovered days later.

The boy is the child of Schorpen and Steven Kansler, Carlie's stepfather.

Sent: Friday, July 30, 2004 8:37 AM Subject: John Kerry's Resume Hello. My name is John Kerry and I'm running for President, I think.
Please consider my qualifications as set forth in the following resume.

RESUME OF JOHN F. KERRY RESIDENCE:
Seven mansions, including Washington DC, worth multi-millions.

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
College:

I graduated from Yale University with a low C average.
Unlike my counterpart George Bush, I have no higher education and did not get admitted to Harvard or graduate with an MBA Military:

I used three minor injuries to get an early discharge from the military and service in Vietnam. I then returned to the US, joined Jane Fonda in protesting the war, and insulted returning Vietnam vets, claiming they committed atrocities and were baby killers.
I threw my medals, ribbons, or something away in protest. Or did I? My book "Vietnam Veterans against the War: The New Soldier" shows how I truly feel about the military.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
I ran for U.S. Congress and have been there ever since.
I have no real world experience except marrying rich women and running HJ Heinz vicariously through my wife Teresa.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS US SENATOR:
I set the record for the most liberal voting record, exceeding even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton.
I have consistently failed to support our military and CIA by voting against budgets, thus gutting our country's ability to defend itself.
Although I voted for the Iraq War, now I am against it and refuse to admit that I voted for it.
I voted in favor of every liberal piece of legislation.
I have no plan to help this country but I intend to raise taxes significantly if I am elected. I make no or little charitable contributions and have never agreed to pay any voluntary excess taxes in MA, despite family wealth in excess of $700 million.
I voted to cut every law enforcement, CIA and defense bill in my career as a US Senator.
I ordered Boston to remove a fire hydrant in front of my mansion, thereby endangering my neighbors in the event of fire.
Although I claim to be in favor of alternative energy sources, Ted Kennedy and I oppose windmills off Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard as it might spoil our view of the ocean as we cruise on our yacht.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
None.

PERSONAL:
My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart, George Bush, that he will never catch up.
I ride a Serotta bicycle ($2000-$6500).
My Gulfstream V Jet I call "The Flying Squirrel."
I named my $850,000 42 foot Hinckley twin diesel yacht the "Scarmouche."
I don't own any SUVs but my family does, including one parked at my Nantucket summer mansion, though I am against large polluting inefficient vehicles and blame George Bush for the energy problems.
I am fascinated by rap and hip-hop and you had better listen to it as it reflects our real culture.

PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.