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John Kerry has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell where the devil
is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do here," says the
devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you, but you
definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've
got 3 people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them
go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who
leaves." John thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed. The
devil opened the first room. In it was Al Gore and a large pool of water.
He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed over and over and over. Such
was his fate in hell. No!" Kerry said. "I don't think so. I'm
not a good swimmer and don't think I could do that all day long." The
devil led him to the next room. In it was Ted Kennedy with a sledgehammer
and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after
time after time. "No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would
be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!"
commented Kerry. The devil opened a third door. In it, Kerry saw Bill
Clinton lying On the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs
staked in Spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what
she does best. John Kerry looked at this in disbelief for a while and
finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this." The devil smiled and
said.... "MONICA, you're free to go!" Thanks Jason
Jail time hasn't softened 'Gorilla'
By KITTY CAPARELLA
The new Hell's Angels boss has been busted and his nemesis, burly outlaw
Pagan leader Steven "Gorilla" Mondevergine, can scratch him off
his "to do" list - for now.
Mondevergine, still smarting from a 1999 assassination attempt and the
betrayal of four Pagan cohorts who switched to the hated Angels, has
vowed:"I'm willing to meet the four traitors anywhere. I'll fight all
four at the same time, anytime, anywhere, any place. In a field, bare
knuckles, knives, guns, whatever they want. That's an open
challenge."
But the feds intervened in one case.
Anthony "Mengie" Mengenie, head of the Philadelphia Hell's
Angels chapter and onetime Mother Club member of the Pagan Motorcycle
Club, was arrested Monday by deputy U.S. Marshals while visiting his
probation officer at 6th and Arch streets, said John Patrignani, spokesman
for the U.S. Marshal's office.
Mengenie, 46, allegedly violated his probation by associating with bikers
at a recent Hell's Angel funeral in Virginia, according to Police Lt.
Thomas Coccia, of the organized crime and intelligence squad.
On the left side of his chest, Mengenie's "colors" identified
him as president of the Philadelphia Hell's Angels chapter. His federal
probation prohibits him from associating with bikers until 2014, Coccia
said.
Mondevergine believes Mengenie was behind the
Aug. 31, 1999 assasination attempt when Mondevergine was shot at least six
times, according to biker and law enforcement sources.
A Pagan mother club member investigated and found there was a deal between
Mengenie and the triggermen associated with the 10th and Oregon streets
gang to get rid of Mondevergine, a biker source explained.
Later, Mondevergine was convicted of shooting at a 10th and Oregon gang
member, a suspect in Mondevergine's own shooting. He served nearly two
years in federal prison.
"There was bad blood before [Mondevergine] went to jail and the wound
went deeper," said Coccia.
Pagans have been prowling for the four turncoats ever since, sources said.
The four turncoats are Mengenie, Angels vice president Thomas
"Thinker" Wood, secretary treasurer James "Slim Jim"
Wysong, road captain Mark "Slo Mo" Mangano, the sources said.
None of the four could be reached for comment.
"I'm only concerned about the four traitors. The other Hells Angels
recruits don't know what this is about," said Mondevergine, 49, head
of the Pagan Motorcycle Club members in Philadelphia and South Jersey.
"They once called me 'brother.' They called me 'boss.' The day will
come when the Hell's Angels [club] finds out about them," he added.
"We may all be in different clubs, but we all live under the same
code: You don't betray brothers."
Both sides are recruiting "pretty heavily," says a law
enforcement source.
Coccia said the Angels have 15 members and about 20 prospects or
associates.
The Pagans have 135 members in the Philadelphia area, mostly in the
suburbs. The Philadelphia chapter, however, remains small with about 20
members and about seven to 10 prospects, he added.
The last confrontation between the two gangs was May 13, three days before
Mondevergine's probation was to expire for shooting at a rival.
Hundreds of police descended on 40 Pagans and 30 Angels, who were armed
outside the Road Runners Motorcycle clubhouse, on Juniper Street near
Dickinson.
Five Angels carrying 11 handguns were taken into custody and later
released. Though the Angels had gun permits, the handguns were legally
owned by others.
One Pagan, Robert Woodward, was arrested for wielding a walking stick like
a baseball bat, said police.
Ever since, said a law enforcement official, "The Angels have been
careful not to cross their path. The Pagans are everywhere, South Philly,
Northeast Philly..."
A potential problem was averted this week in North Jersey after officials
at Englishtown Raceway learned that the two gangs were coming. Town
officials canceled the Aug. 22 event. |
Forwarded e-mail
WHERE TO STAY IN LAS VEGAS
This is beautiful. I think I know where I'll be staying the next
time
I'm in Las Vegas...
****
You may recall, the Aladdin Casino in Las Vegas "threw out"
Linda
Ronstadt for her anti American stance while performing. This
caused
Michael Moore to send a strong letter of complaint to the President of
the Aladddin. Here is his letter, and the reply from Mr. Timmins.
Response to Michael Moore's, "Open Letter to Bill Timmins,
President
Aladdin Casino and Hotel"
As you most likely know, Michael Moore posted the following letter:
After the letter, you will find the response.
--------------------------
Bill Timmins President Aladdin Casino and Hotel Las Vegas, NV
July 20, 2004
Dear Mr. Timmins:
I understand from the news reports I've read that, after Linda Ronstadt,
one of America's greatest singers, dedicated a song to me from your
stage on Saturday night, you instructed your security guards to remove
her from the Aladdin, which they did.
What country do you live in? Last time I checked, Las Vegas is still in
the United States. And in the United States, we have something called
"The First Amendment." This constitutional right gives
everyone here the
right to say whatever they want to say. All Americans hold this right as
sacred. Many of our young people put on a uniform and risk their
lives
to defend it. My film is all about asking the questions that
should
have been asked before those brave soldiers were sent into harms way.
For you to throw Linda Ronstadt off the premises because she dared to
say a few words in support of me and my film, is simply stupid and
Un-American. Frankly, I have never heard of such a thing happening. I
read that you wouldn't even let her go back up to her room at your
hotel! Are you crazy? For crying out loud, it was a song DEDICATION! To
"Desperado!" Every American loves that song! Sure, some people
didn't
like the dedication, and that's their right. But neither they nor you
have the right to remove her from your building when all she did was
exercise her AMERICAN right to speak her mind.
Of all the things that go on in Las Vegas, this is what creates the need
for serious action? What about the other half of the crowd at the
Aladdin who, according to the Las Vegas Sun, cheered her when she made
her remarks? Did you throw them out, too?
I think you owe Ms. Ronstadt an apology. And I have an idea how you can
make it up to her-and to the millions of Americans you have offended.
Invite her back and I'll join her in singing "America the
Beautiful" on
your stage. Then I will show "Fahrenheit 9/11" free of charge
to all
your guests and anyone else in Las Vegas who wants to see it.
Mr. Timmins, as the song "Desperado" says-"Come to your
senses!" How can
you refuse this offer? I await your reply.
Yours, Michael Moore Director, "Fahrenheit 9/11"
===============================================
Response
===============================================
July 21, 2004
Attention: Michael Moore,
In response to your letter dated July 20, 2004: You are correct that I
had security remove Linda Ronstadt from Aladdin Casino and Hotel where
the fun never ends and everybody wins. How very interesting to learn you
are such a fan of Ms. Ronstadt. You questioned where I live and
surprisingly knew Las Vegas is in the UnitedStates. You should visit it
sometime. There are thousands of wonderful 'All You Can Eat' buffets.
There are also a lot of casinos who's owners don't **** around. I am
aware of the First Amendment and you have the right to talk about
your
hatred of America but once you are on my property and you are upsetting
my guests, you will quickly learn about my rights.
I can't remember if it was Jesus or George W. Bush that said,
"Freedom
is a two-way street." Ms. Ronstadt learned this long before I had
her
thrown out of my casino. You question my actions? If you come onto my
property and upset my guests, you will receive the same, if not worse,
treatment than Ms. Ronstadt received. I am sure your mere presence would
upset my guests.
You claim your film, "...is all about asking the questions that
should
have been asked before those brave soldiers were sent into harms
way." I
think your film does nothing but aid the enemy and hurt our troops. You
have betrayed our troops, our leader and America. I have no respect for
you or your vision of what America should be.
I paid Ms. Ronstadt to entertain my guests, not divide them. The half
that did not leave probably thought the verse you mentioned, "Why
don't
you come to your senses" was addressed to you. Maybe she should
have
dedicated her song, 'You're No Good' to you. I would have asked her
back, had she done that. Regarding your request for me to apologize to
her, have you and her on my stage singing anything about this Country
and then playing your piece of **** film is ludicrous!
One of my workers is currently throwing away every complaint letter from
brainless followers of you, claiming they will never visit my Casino.
I
could not be more pleased to know my casino and hotel will always be
void of the kind of people who support you. Meanwhile, my hotel has been
quickly booked solid for the rest of the year with true Americans who
love this Country and support our efforts overseas.
They will see a framed copy of your letter and my response in the lobby
to ensure they begin their experience with a laugh.
Sincerely,
Bill Timmins President Aladdin Casino and Hotel Las Vegas, NV
A balloon released into the jet stream would
take two weeks to travel completely around the globe.
Bill Goldberg has made it clear in
his latest interview with Alex Marvez of WrestlingObserver that he will
not be returning to the WWE anytime in the near future.
"I think the way they handled my character was moronic,"
Goldberg told Marvez. "Any businessman who has business first and
foremost on his mind wouldn't have done what they did ... People didn't
want to see Goldberg have emotions or laugh. They wanted to see him rip
people's heads off."
Goldberg also went on to defend Brock Lesnar and his dreams of playing in
the NFL, saying he feels sorry for the way he has been treated. "I
felt really bad for the guy because he made a decision and stood up for
what he believed. He wanted to fulfill a dream. Instead of being behind
him 100 percent, the fans resented it."
JUST IN CASE ANYONE OUT THERE FEELS GENEROUS
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