Edition 8-09-04

TESTICLE FESTIVAL 
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September 16-20 2004 Clinton, MT http://www.testyfesty.com/ 406-825-4868 Now here's a festival that is for ADULTS only (ID required)! 
  This event is high on the list of the world's crazier events. The Montana Testicle Festival is held in Rock Creek Lodge just outside of Clinton every fall. 

To remove those tough stains from the bottom of a glass  vase, just fill with water and add two Alka-Seltzer tablets let set and Viola! Stains are gone.  

An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. An Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a whoop so loud that it would echo from the surrounding hills. When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final, "Yahoo!" and rode off. "What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service station attendant. "Nothing," shrugged the woman, " I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto his saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off." "Lady," the attendant said, "Indians ride bareback....."

Excessive thatch is a common problem in many lawns. Thatch is a layer of organic matter that forms between the grass blades and the soil line. The organic matter consists of tightly woven, living and dead grass stems, roots, and crowns. These parts of the grass plants are high in lignin, an organic material that breaks down slowly. In most healthy lawns, those parts do break down.

A little bit of thatch — less than 1/2 inch — isn't bad. The thin layer cushions the turf, reduces soil compaction, and helps conserve moisture. But if the layer gets over a 1/2 inch, then thatch is real trouble. (Thatch can get several inches thick.)

A thick layer of thatch between grass blades and soil blocks the movement of air, water, and nutrients to grass roots. This condition results in a shallow rooted lawn. Such lawns are sensitive to drought, heat, and cold. A shallow-rooted lawn dries out quickly, and because thatch can repel water, getting moisture to the root is difficult. Thatch also can result in a spongy, bumpy lawn that you can easily scalp when you mow. If shallow roots and scalping aren't bad enough, thatchy lawns are also more susceptible to insects and disease.

Men reach the peak of their sexual powers in their late teens or early twenties, and then begin to slowly decline.
Women, however, do not reach their sexual peak until their late twenties or early thirties, and then remain at this level through their late fifties or early sixties. 

To relieve the stinging from a mild burn or sunburn mix a paste of water and Baking Soda and apply to the area. You can also add baking soda to a cool bath and that will soothe the sunburn too. 

 

You may know they've released John Hinckley from the mental facility for unsupervised visits to his parents home on weekends. For those of you who may be too young to remember John Hinckley shot President Ronald Reagan to impress the actress Jodie Foster. This is such a nice letter from the President:

THE WHITE HOUSE WASHINGTON D.C.

Mr. John Hinckley St. Elizabeth's Hospital Washington, DC Dear John:

Laura and I hope that you are continuing your excellent progress in recovery from your mental problems. We were pleased to hear that you are now able to have unsupervised visits with your parents. The staff at the hospital reports that you are doing fine. I have decided to seek a second term in office as your president and I would appreciate your support and the support of your fine parents.

I would hope that if there is anything that you need at the hospital, you would let us know.

By the way, are you aware that John Kerry is screwing Jody Foster?

Sincerely, George W. Bush President 
Thanks Becky


 The Price of Freedom 
Author: Unknown 
Have you ever wondered what happened to the 56 men who signed the Declaration of Independence?
Five signers were captured by the British as traitors, and tortured before they died. Twelve had their homes ransacked and burned. Two lost their sons serving in the Revolutionary Army, another had two sons captured.

Nine of the 56 fought and died from wounds or hardships of the Revolutionary War.

They signed and they pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor. What kind of men were they?

Twenty-four were lawyers and jurists. Eleven were merchants, nine were farmers and large plantation owners; men of means, well educated.

But they signed the Declaration of Independence knowing full well that the penalty would be death if they were captured.

Carter Braxton of Virginia, a wealthy planter and trader, saw his ships swept from the seas by the British Navy. He sold his home and properties to pay his debts, and died in rags.

Thomas McKeam was so hounded by the British that he was forced to move his family almost constantly. He served in the Congress without pay, and his family was kept in hiding. His possessions were taken from him, and poverty was his reward.

Vandals or soldiers looted the properties of Dillery, Hall, Clymer, Walton, Gwinnett, Heyward, Ruttledge, and Middleton.

At the battle of Yorktown, Thomas Nelson, Jr., noted that the British General Cornwallis had taken over the Nelson home for his headquarters. He quietly urged General George Washington to open fire. The home was destroyed, and Nelson died bankrupt.

Francis Lewis had his home and properties destroyed. The enemy jailed his wife, and she died within a few months.

John Hart was driven from his wife's bedside as she was dying. Their 13 children fled for their lives. His fields and this gristmill were laid to waste. For more than a year he lived in forests and caves, returning home to find his wife dead and his children vanished. A few weeks later he died from exhaustion and a broken heart.

Norris and Livingston suffered similar fates.

Such were the stories and sacrifices of the American Revolution.

These were not wild eyed, rabble-rousing ruffians.
They were soft-spoken men of means and education. They had security, but they valued liberty more. Standing tall, straight, and unwavering, they pledged: "For the support of this declaration, with firm reliance on the protection of the divine providence, we mutually pledge to each other, our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor."

They gave you and me a free and independent America. The history books never told you a lot of what happened in the Revolutionary War. We didn't just fight the British. We were British subjects at that time and we fought our own government!

Some of us take these liberties so much for granted...We shouldn't.

So, take a couple of minutes while enjoying your 
4th of July holiday and silently thank these patriots. It's not much to ask for the price they paid . . .

LET'S ALL REMEMBER THAT FREEDOM IS "NEVER FREE"!!!!

TOKYO : Japan is looking to a new wave of women athletes to help them achieve an ambitious target of more than 10 gold medals at the Olympics as they attempt to close the gap on regional rivals China and South Korea.

Women's wrestling makes its Olympic debut with four world champions from Japan boosting prospects for the country's gold-medal hunt, which has been all but confined to judo in the past three Summer Games.

Kyoko Hamaguchi has won the heavyweight title five times while pocket-sized 55kg champion Saori Yoshida, a formidable tackler, has not lost in her 70 straight matches against foreign opponents.

Japanese women will also figure strongly in softball, basketball, volleyball, field hockey and football in Athens, and are determined to avenge their 2-1 loss to the United States in the softball final at the 2000 Games.

Thirty gallons, or 135 liters, of water is used for the average shower in the United States.