Edition 9-24-04

Wind barriers such as hedges give protection downwind for a distance of up to ten times the height of the barrier.

On a tour of Texas, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the coastal area for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the sea wall on Galveston Island in his Pope mobile when suddenly he noticed a frantic commotion just off shore. There was John Kerry struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 25-foot shark. As the Pope watched, horrified, a speedboat came racing up with two men aboard. One of the men, President George W.
Bush quickly fired a harpoon into the shark's side while Dick Cheney reached out and pulled the bleeding, semi-conscious John Kerry from the water. Then using baseball bats, the two heroes beat the shark to death and hauled it into the boat. Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned them to the beach. "I give you my blessings for your brave actions," he told them.
"I heard that there was some bitter hatred between President Bush and John Kerry, but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not true." As the Pope drove off, President Bush asked Dick "Who was that?" "It was the Pope," Dick replied. "He is in direct contact with God and has all of God's wisdom." "Well," President Bush said, "he may have access to God's wisdom, but he doesn't know squat about shark fishing...............how's the bait holding up?"

Need to unseal an envelope - put it in the freezer for a few hours, then slide a knife under the flap. The envelope can then be resealed.

Sent: Thursday, September 23, 2004 7:38 PM Subject: Stowaway A young woman in New York was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the East River. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier, crying. He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for. I'm off to Hawaii in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy." The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a fresh start in Hawaii would give her life new meaning. That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.
Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the Captain. "What are you doing here?" the Captain asked. "I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained.
"I get food and a trip to Hawaii, and he's screwing me."
"He certainly is," the Captain said. "This is the Staten Island Ferry"

I don't personally know any rock climbers but if you do please pass this one along. It might save save a friend.
DMM Engineering, of Gwynedd, U.K., is recalling about 1,000 Wild Country-brand Helium carabiners used in rock climbing.
The gate may come open under a heavy load, which will reduce the strength of the carabiner. The carabiner could break if the climber falls. These carabiners were sold under the following model names: Helium Dyneema, Helium DYN QD 5 X 13, Helium Clean Wire, and Oxygen-Helium. They are marked with batch codes AAA, AAB, AAC, AAD, AAE, and AAF. "Wild Country"
and the model name are written on the carabiners.
Recreational sports stores nationwide sold the carabiners from April 2004 through July 2004 for between $11 and $25.
Consumers should call the firm to find out how to return the carabiners. The firm will reimburse shipping costs and send the consumer a replacement. Call Wild Country toll free at (800) 997-HELI between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. MT Monday through Friday.

BARRIE -- The key witness in a landmark organized-crime trial stumbled in his testimony yesterday, confronted with an unexpected tape recording of his own voice, captured by a hidden microphone he had worn.

Ten minutes earlier, the man had been adamant he had not been wearing such a device that day.

"So something you were sure of is wrong, yes?" defence lawyer Steven Skurka asked.

"Yes," the witness replied.

His identity concealed by a publication ban, the man is central to the extortion trial of two Hells Angels. The prosecution is seeking to prove not only that Woodbridge bikers Steven (Tiger) Lindsay and Raymond Bonner tried to get $75,000 from the man by threatening to seriously hurt him, but that they did so on behalf of an identifiable criminal group: the Hells Angels.

Convictions would be the first under Canada's recently fortified anti-gang legislation.

The witness, whose credibility the defence badly wants to dent, is a former entrepreneur who specialized in the sale of the descrambling technology that permits television viewers to steal satellite signals. He has testified that on Jan. 23, 2002, the two Hells Angels members came to his Barrie-area home demanding the $75,000 -- money he insists was not owed.

Otherwise, he was told, he would be needing hospital care.

Badly frightened, the man and his family moved from their home the same day and went under police protection.
Detectives then asked him to wear a body-pack microphone, meet with Mr. Lindsay and record the conversation.

The rendezvous went ahead on Jan. 31 at a roadside restaurant north of Barrie.

In an exchange laced with profanities and threats of violence, the man was advised by Mr. Lindsay that if he did not quickly repay the debt -- supposedly incurred over faulty gadgets the Hells Angels had purchased from him -- he would seriously regret it.

"If you fuck up, you're in fucking trouble," Mr. Lindsay's voice was heard to say in a tape played yesterday in the small courtroom. Five more men would be dispatched to deal with the problem, the man was told. "And they're the same kind of motherfucker that I am."

Mr. Lindsay and Mr. Bonner were arrested the same day, along with a third man, Christopher Maskell, the go-between in many of the witness's sales of the descrambling devices.

That was the only time the witness wore such a microphone, he testified.

But what about the day before -- Jan. 30 -- he was asked by Mr. Skurka. Was he wearing a body pack then?

It would have been logical for him to do so, since he and police were camped out in the man's home, awaiting a return visit from Mr. Lindsay. The biker had promised he would be back a week after his surprise arrival on Jan.
23. (He did not show up.)

No, the witness replied.

"There were no recordings that I know of."

Then Mr. Skurka played a police-authenticated tape made on Jan. 30, from a body pack the witness was wearing that day.

The man's voice is heard clearly on it. There was no immediate explanation of how he had forgotten that he had been wired not once, but twice.

Earlier in the day, Superior Court judge Madam Justice Michelle Fuerst said she was reluctant to sever the charges into two portions -- the extortion allegations and the organized-crime component -- as both the prosecution and defence had suggested.

Instead they will likely be treated as a package, meaning the trial could last several months.

I must say that if you're not living on the edge you're taking up too much space, but this guy is on the wrong side of the door at the funny farm. time to take sharp objects and shoe laces from this future statistic.
Motorcyclist Arrested For Driving 205 MPH Sep 21, 2004 7:58 am US/Central With a State Patrol airplane overhead, a Stillwater motorcyclist hit the throttle and possibly set the informal record for the fastest speeding ticket in Minnesota history: 205 mph.

On Saturday afternoon, State Patrol pilot Al Loney was flying near Wabasha, in southeastern Minnesota on the Wisconsin border, watching two motorcyclists racing along U.S. Highway 61.

When one of the riders shot forward, Loney was ready with his stopwatch. He clicked it once when the motorcycle reached a white marker on the road and again a quarter-mile later. The watch read 4.39 seconds, which Loney calculated to be 205 mph.

After about three-quarters of a mile, the biker slowed to about 100 mph and let the other cycle catch up. By then Loney had radioed ahead to another state trooper, who pulled the two over soon afterward.

The State Patrol officer arrested the faster rider, 20-year-old Stillwater resident Samuel Armstrong Tilley, for reckless driving, driving without a motorcycle license -- and driving 140 miles per hour over the posted speed limit of 65 mph.

A search of speeding tickets written by state troopers, who patrol most of the state's highways, between 1990 and February 2004 shows the next fastest ticket was for 150 mph in 1994 in Lake of the Woods County.

Only a handful of exotic sports cars can reach 200 mph, but many high-performance motorcycles can top 175 mph.
With minor modifications, they can hit 200 mph. Tilley was riding a Honda 1000, Loney said.